It is hard to be with older relatives in the same apartment. Life gives rise to many small and large reasons for mutual discontent. Psychologist Irina Sulima tells how not to quarrel with grandparents who live with you.
We love our grandparents, grateful to them, but often these feelings are lost behind everyday irritation, mutual claims and meaningless disputes. And so I do not want to turn household dialogs into conflicts in high colors. A way to return to relations with older relatives warmth and mutual understanding is. Here are some tips on how to find a common language with them.
Remind you are grateful to them
As they decrease social functions and social contacts, grandparents a feeling of uselessness appears. Often it is it that provokes bad mood and aggression. It is terrible to understand that the time has passed, the effort is already less than in his youth, the views on life are outdated, and the experience that has been lived by the cost of life causes only a condescending smile.
“Mark more often that your relative has achieved a lot in life,” Irina Sulima advises. – And do not forget to emphasize how he is dear to your family. “.
Constantly remind grandparents that their efforts made you what you are. Thank them, because a simple “thank you” can cheer up a long time.
Compliment
“Every person has something beautiful in every person,” the psychologist claims. – Do not forget to emphasize the external virtues of older people “.
In her opinion, it is useful to remind her grandmother that she had beautiful eyes and how many fans she had in her youth, to tell her grandfather that his gray hair is still good. Simple, but sincere compliments, for example: “You look great today,” “This color is very good for you,” which an elderly person hears regularly, align his emotional background.
Speak clearly
In words you can cheer up or indicate the distance. According to the psychologist,
fashionable slang, Anglicisms – all that your relative does not understand, most likely, will cause irritation, which will surely or later break out.
It is necessary to be aware that sometimes cognitive functions are reduced with age. And adaptation to new -fangled speech turnover can cause difficulties.
“Older people often slow down the pace of speech,” says Irina Sulima. – Get used to adapt to it. If necessary, speak louder, grandparents sometimes hear badly “.
Hug more more often
The need for tactfulness is different for everyone. It is usually believed that for a good mood, a person needs at least four hugs per day.
“Put your grandparents on the arm, pat on the shoulder, kiss at night, hug you when you meet. But provided that your relative loves it, and you do it with a sincere location, ”says Irina Sulima. – more goodwill, respect and heat. Communicating with your relatives, “turn on” the sun inside and generously share its light ”.